When You Have to Be the Bigger Person

D E V O T I O N A L

I was in my car in a parking lot writing a text I never sent.

Deleted it. Wrote it again. Sat there with my thumb over the send button like it was a trigger. Somebody had done something to me that I did not deserve, and I had the response all lined up. Every word of it. I knew exactly where it would land and exactly how much it would sting.

And the whole time, this one thought kept circling. Nobody would blame me for this.

That is really the thing, isn't it? It is not hard to take the high road when you are the one who messed up. It is hard when you are right. When you have receipts. When every person who knows the situation would nod along and say yeah, they had it coming.

Being right feels like permission.

The thing about those moments…and it has taken me a long time to admit it. The satisfaction of firing back lasts about a day. The cost of it hangs around a whole lot longer.

Romans 12:17-18 says "Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone."

Do all that you can. I love that He put it that way, because it is honest. Sometimes you cannot get there. Some people will not let you. God is not asking you to fix the whole thing or control how it ends. He is asking you to handle your part of it well.

Just so we are clear about what this does not mean, because this one gets twisted fast….

Being the bigger person does not mean pretending you were not hurt. It does not mean staying in a situation that keeps wrecking you or handing someone unlimited chances to treat you badly. You can forgive somebody completely and still not give them a key to your house. Grace and boundaries have never been enemies.

What it does mean is refusing to let someone else's behavior decide who you are that day.

Because that is what happens when you match their pettiness. You quietly hand them the pen. They get to set the standard and you just follow it down. And I do not want somebody who wronged me deciding what kind of man I am going to be on a Tuesday afternoon.

Here is the part that actually helps me let go. I am not giving up the right to respond. I am handing it to Someone better at it than I am. Scripture says vengeance belongs to God, and I used to hear that as a warning. Now I hear it as a relief. It is not my job to settle this. Somebody else already has that title, and He does not miss anything.

So if you are sitting in your own version of that parking lot right now, thumb over the button, completely justified and you know it, I just want you to think about the trade.

Being right for an afternoon. Or being someone you respect for a lot longer than that.

Nobody would blame you for going low. That is exactly what makes going high mean something.

Much love and blessings,

Ramzi

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Family

Family conflict has the longest memory. The petty comment you win with today is the one somebody brings up in five years. Choose the longer view.

Relationships

You can forgive someone and still adjust how much access they have to you. Grace and boundaries work together.

Mental Health

Holding a grudge takes constant energy. Letting go is not letting them win. It is refusing to keep paying for something they did.

Finances

Money disputes bring out the worst in people. Handle yours honorably even when the other side does not, and let that be the standard you hold yourself to.

Physical Health

Carrying anger has a physical cost. Your body keeps the tally on conflicts your mouth never finished.

When you match their pettiness, you let them decide who you get to be that day.

Lord, You know the situation and You know I have every right to respond. Help me not to. Give me the strength to take the high road when nobody would blame me for taking the low one. Let me hand the score-settling to You, where it belongs, and free me from needing to win something that was never worth the cost. Amen.